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| library rules:
students are not allowed inside the library at lunch or after school without a pass from their teacher stating their purpose
teachers are not allowed to write a pass for more than 5 students on any given day
teachers may not bring classes to the library without scheduling at least a week in advance
if the teacher is absent they must reschedule, student teachers and substitute teachers are not allowed to bring students into the library
teachers must record the names of each of the students using a computer at the library and submit this list, with according computer number to the librarian (ehem glorified secretary nazi)
students are not allowed to check out books using a valid California driver's license, they must have their student ID number because if they dont - the "librarian" has to hit at least 9 extra keys during the transaction, which is obviously unacceptable
i see this happening, and i wonder who ok'd this bullshit
answer?
no one
this amped up secretary from hell actually made all of this shit up herself and managed to get a signature from every single teacher on campus
every single item on this list hinders learning for the sake of her personal convenience, and she can do it because none of the teachers had the patience to read the fine print
LOVE bureaucratic bullshit
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| "i'm afraid of what will happen if i drop my pride"
that was the snarky comment i was about to post on my friends blog
then i had a question
then i wrote too much
so i gave up on the whole comment and now im here just typing the whole thing out
it's been too long since ive written anything anyway
so here we go
im not fantastic at the self-improvement game
but i do keep a constant and running set of goals (usually in the form of personal maxims or mantras) that are designed to help me walk along the path toward the person "G" that i want to be
these maxims and mantras never really go away but at some point, i stop thinking about them daily and that is about the time that i start looking for a new one
the most recent one (and by recent i mean ive been working at it for almost 2 years):
"what's life worth living if you never do anything you're afraid of?"
so i ask myself this question pretty much daily, and it helps me do things (which inspire fear) i would ordinarily just chose to avoid
before i go on ill just admit right now that this particular mantra was probably inspired by Yes Man
alright so back to business. as i said this is kind of a response/question/reflection to a friend's blog concerning fear and pride
the big question:
what happens if you face something you are afraid of, and after all is said and done, if faced with it again, you're still afraid?
example:
i have mad stage fright
ive had it for as long as i can remember
bad defect to have for someone thats looking into teaching as a career i know
but that's just it, i stand and talk in front of 30+ kids at a time 5 days a week
it's still totally scary
all the same old symptoms arise
ive been working on the conclusion (based on an old mantra "improvise adapt and overcome") that the deal with fear is that sometimes, you will just never get over it.
BUT it isnt really about being afraid in the end, it's about what you do to cope
or at least "coping" is my medium of the moment
fear is a flame and it will burn everything you give it and get bigger and hotter and more destructive
im really not sure if there is a good solid 100% way to douse the flame, but i do think there are ways to choose which things i give it and which things to keep for myself
still every time i stand in front of that group of people, i feel that adrenaline rush, and the desire to go sit behind the desk and avoid attention. i still hear and see too many people (who must me laughing and snickering or hating on/at me)
at this point, those few troubles are all im willing to give to the flame
as for that other finicky feeling pride? i'm probably fucked
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| alright so there is some good news and some terrible news
good news:
i got my placement and im finishing my student teaching at the school i wanted with the master teacher i wanted
i also found a pretty legit second master teacher (because i guess i have to have 2)
terrible news:
both teachers are teaching American lit this semester- which means I'm teaching American Lit this semester- which means i have to read and teach The Great Pile of Shit Commonly Known as Gatsby
i know i know i know
Gatsby is a great novel
classic of our time
everyone agrees
most people, for whatever reason, believe this novel is worth more than its weight in firewood
BUT
most people are dumber than me too
:P
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| here i sit
a year has passed since my last deep worry about this girl
and yet the same worry has surfaced
she is more wonderful than i presumed
and now she still yearns to fly
i feel chained to the ground
one side of me wants to convince her to stay
one side sees the evil in clipping those beautiful wings
the strategist in me cries that we have yet to see even one flight attempted
why take the chance of loss and just let it happen?
the heart sees hope
even if it means the loss of mine
the strategist has a grim rebuttal, but it will serve to mend what can be healed
both heart and strategy stand imperfect alone
my mind trembles
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| dear average lowes customer,
thankyou
you are a decent human being and you dont suck at life- or if you do you dont show it when you are shopping... special thanks if you are part of that crew
dear good lowes customer,
every day that starts out like shit in the sales floor turns better when you show up and ask thoughtful questions that make me think, and accept the answers i give you for whatever they are worth
thank you from the bottom of my heart
dear all living shits that dont belong to either of those two catagories
do everyone a favor and remove yourself from the gene pool
or educate yourself in the following instructions:
1. do not ask questions and then doubt the answers - especially while referencing other shit people (especially employees that gave you the wrong information- just because the answers are not the ones you want to hear
2. do not threaten to go shop at home depot - we actually dont give a flying fuck where you shop, if the company gets more money out of you, they treat us the same or worse so dont think you are doing us some big fucking favor by buying the cheapest can of spray paint in the paint cage
3. good customer service is reserved for those who earn it. its easy to earn: we care about you if you arent a total piece of shit. if we are being a dick to you, well... we are probably going for the mirror effect
4. dont assume you will get a discount if you ask for it: you arent special just because you are stingy
5. this $120 sale is on the low end of average for us, you dont get special treatment just because that is the high end for you (special note: it's on the high end for us lowling employees too but that doesnt mean you acting like its a big fucking deal will get us to take your side)
6. if these rules are too complicated for you please refer to the previous advice and off yourself as soon as possible
thanks
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